he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
