You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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