You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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