fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
