dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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