Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
