I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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