one might say we're banned from that church
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
