I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
