a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I need to stop coming to work sober
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize
