I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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