I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
