It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
