Don't make out with my wife yet
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
