I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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