Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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