im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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