Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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