The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Randomize
