I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Pants are for mortals
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