I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Michael Bay diarrhea
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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