We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
