Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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