just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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