I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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