tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
