Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
