And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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