This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
