How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize