we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
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using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
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I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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