it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
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She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
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