i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize