Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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