Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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