I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
3pm strippers are depressing
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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