You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
