im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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