Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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