Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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