am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
