so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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