Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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