I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
