moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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