We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
