whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
