Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
A bitchslap is in order.
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