I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
