What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
operation have a gay friend backfired
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize