hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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