11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
my poor anus
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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