there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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