there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
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I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
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HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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