I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
bring money and cleavage
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
