how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
