I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
