Your face is a jimmy john
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
