You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
